Top Ten Signs You May Just Be On Santa’s Naughty List.
- Your wish list was sent back… and no postage paid, either.
- You keep finding elf-sized footprints next to the yellow snow on your front lawn.
- Somebody ‘antlered’ your car.
- When you went to change a burnt-out Christmas Light, you notice next to the ‘bad’ bulb is frayed wire and a large puddle of water.
- Every time you go to take a shower there’s a bell-toed midget thrusting a candy-cane shiv at you.
- You thought you saw a reindeer in your kitchen and now your eggnog tastes like ammonia and pine.
- You wake up and there’s a reindeer head in your bed.
- All you get for Christmas are Aquadots, Peter Pan peanut butter and toys that were ‘made in China’.
- Santa leaves your cookies and milk and instead drinks your beer and ‘shtoops’ your wife.
- You wake up on Christmas Day and the coals NOT in your stocking are somewhere much warmer and darker… yeow.