Butterpourri: Movie Reviews – The Ten and Jesus Christ: Vampire Hunter

Agent Butters
Agent Butters

The upcoming Lenten season has me thinking of god. Not like in a “I found Jesus” sort of way, but more of a “I wanna watch a funny movie staring Jesus” sort of way. So I hit Netflix hard and found 2 promising flicks The Ten which I’ll get to in a grip, and Jesus Christ Vampire Hunter. The second had such a promising title, I couldn’t hardly resist. I mean, come on! It’s a story about Jesus’s second-coming to fight vampire’s. How can it be bad?

Well, if Canadians make it, it will be bad. No. I would say horrible. I fought my way through more then a 1/2 hour of the movie before I just couldn’t stand it anymore. For Christ’s sake! (pardon the pun) Jesus didn’t even have long hair in this movie. Plus it was made and stared 80’s looking punks. I was looking for religion half way through.

The second movie The Ten was fantastic. How I missed this movie in trailers or commercials I do not know. The premise of the movie is, 10 loosely related shorts, each revolving around a different commandment from the Ten Commandments. What a fantastic cast to have for a movie as well, Liev Shreiber, Famke Jannsen, Paul Rudd, Winona Ryder, Jessica Alba, Oliver Platt and Rob Cordry. Extremely funny and well worth watching. The story based upon though shall not covet thy neighbor can not be missed. “Johnson bought a CAT scan machine.” “That’s it we’re buying a CAT scan machine too”. Well you really need to watch to get the idea.

Jesus Christ Vampire Hunter = 1/2 stick of margarine out of 5
The Ten = 4 1/4 sticks of margarine out of 5

Keep checking back. I’ll be exposing the True Butters Story of Ash Wed. and this whole crazy fish eating phenomenon known as Lent.

~Agent Butters

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