Agent Butters turns the Big 3-0

Agent Butters
Agent Butters

Well I turned the big 3-0 the other day. Of course, with every birthday I start to get a sense of my own mortality. I also like to make a list (gasp, me make a list? Insane) of all the things I’d like to do before I meet Elvis. I call it a bucket-list, or a list of things I’d like to do before I kick “the bucket”…….What do you mean there’s a movie called “the bucket list” Son-of-a…..Whatever here’s my Buttertub list.

  1. Get married
  2. have a child
  3. golf Augusta
  4. beat up the clown that scared me in 2nd grade
  5. beat up the clown that scared me in the 4th grade
  6. watch a marathon on TV
  7. watch myself watching TV
  8. two girls ’nuff said
  9. compose a masterpiece
  10. watch someone climb a mountain on TV
  11. beat up the clown that scared me the second time in 4th grade
  12. visit Germany
  13. visit Germany and beat up the German clown that scared me in the 5th grade
  14. beat agent Rutabaga in a round of golf
  15. own my own home
  16. beat up clown that scared me in 6th grade
  17. get over my irrational fear of clowns
  18. write a novel
  19. actually read a novel
  20. make a ship in a bottle
  21. beat up clown that scared me in 8th grade
  22. cure cancer
  23. get cancer so I can cure myself
  24. beat up clown that scared me last week
  25. finally understand why people like to watch Nascar
  26. beat up clown that I saw on TV running a Marathon
  27. when a nobel peice prise in comedy
  28. visit every free adult site on the ‘net
  29. rid the world of clowns
  30. make it long enough to see my next birthday