Another Butterpourri List

Awesome! Another list from Butters. Something about the holidays makes me want to start writing lists. So here’s another.

Top Ten Signs You May Just Be On Santa’s Naughty List.

1. Your wish list was sent back… and no postage paid, either.
2. You keep finding elf-sized footprints next to the yellow snow on your front lawn.
3. Somebody ‘antlered’ your car.
4. When you went to change a burnt-out Christmas Light, you notice next to the ‘bad’ bulb is frayed wire and a large puddle of water.
5. Every time you go to take a shower there’s a bell-toed midget thrusting a candy-cane shiv at you.
6. You thought you saw a reindeer in your kitchen and now your eggnog tastes like ammonia and pine.
7. You wake up and there’s a reindeer head in your bed.
8. All you get for Christmas are Aquadots, Peter Pan peanut butter and toys that were ‘made in China’.
9. Santa leaves your cookies and milk and instead drinks your beer and ‘shtoops’ your wife.
10. You wake up on Christmas Day and the coals NOT in your stocking are somewhere much warmer and darker… yeow.

~Agent Butters